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This was no more evident than the last Saturday of the month. Shannelle told Beth that she had an obligation to attend to, and she was going out. She didn’t return until just before dawn and Beth had waited up for her. Beth was surprised to smell the sex on Shannelle; she actually smelled like sex. When Shannelle excused herself to go to the bathroom, Beth could see a glob of dried semen in her hair!

Beth, of course, couldn’t ask her directly what she had been doing. She was curious, especially since the same thing happened the next Saturday and the Saturday after that. She worked up the courage to ask Shannelle, but Shannelle broached the subject before she did.

“Beth,” she said, “I know you don’t believe this, but there are men who think big women are sexy.”

“Seems like you find one every Saturday night,” Beth blurted out before she could stop herself. She turned red at the indelicacy she had displayed.

Shannelle wasn’t much embarrassed though. She was actually relieved that Beth had brought it up. “Well, that’s what I wanted to talk about.”

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“Oh.”

“I have some friends who accept me, and think I am special,” Shannelle explained. “And we meet every Saturday night to Get Together.” She paused to see if Beth took her meaning; she did. “Now, it’s a pretty big group of people, but they all respect me. One of them really likes me too.” Shannelle blushed a little, which made Beth smile.

“You have a boyfriend?” she asked.

“Naw, who wants one of them?” Shannelle laughed. “No, I don’t have one, because I don’t want one. This brother would love me to be his girlfriend though.” Beth nodded, understanding. “The point is that these people care for one another.”

“You are lucky,” Beth said.

“Well, here’s the thing. We have a ratio of people in the group, so many women for so many men, ya know?” Shannelle explained. Beth nodded her understanding. “And a couple of the girls have left, and so we need a couple to replace them. Besides which, there’s a couple guys who’d like to join, but can’t because we ain’t got enough women.”

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Shannelle was worried about Beth. She was a good worker, and was seldom late. She always called in when she was sick, always. And yet, it was almost 11:00 am and no one knew where Beth was. Calls to her house went unanswered. It was with great relief that Shannelle saw Beth go into her cubical.

“Girl, you alright?” Shannelle asked, genuinely concerned. Beth looked like she had pink eye, but Shannelle didn’t suspect a disease.

“No,” Beth said. With the simple word, Beth’s eyes started to water and Beth fled. Shannelle followed her to the ladies room.

“What’s wrong, Beth?” she asked, looking around to see that no one else was in the bathroom. Beth started to sob, and so it took a long time to get the whole sordid story out. Shannelle, a very large woman herself, understood exactly what Beth was saying. She too had lived with the stigma of being a ‘fatty’, even though her African American culture often seemed to glorify the big beautiful woman. She had all sorts of black men calling her all the time; they liked a ’sista’ with a ‘womanly ass.’ Her big butt was an attraction to many men. As a minority, though, she knew that the society at large minimized the value of big people, and big women in particular.

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Shannelle was a deeply caring woman, and she had great empathy for Beth. Beth was one of her best friends. When one of her best friends needed her, Shanelle responded. She went back into the office, and told their supervisor that Beth was ill, and that she was taking her home to make sure she got the care she needed.

Beth spent the rest of the day crying, until there were no more tears to be had. Shannelle then began to talk to her, still listening more than speaking, but offering her the wisdom she could give. Beth finally fell asleep as the sun set, exhausted at the ordeal of tears.

Shannelle had to work the next day, but she had her momma stay with Beth. She was afraid Beth would do something stupid. Her momma spent the day reviling Josh and white men in general, which actually did make Beth feel better. Even so, Beth was relieved when Shannelle got home and Momma left.

Beth had slept most of the day, both because she was exhausted and to escape Momma. Consequently, Beth was strong enough to talk to Shannelle about her feelings, and her life. When Shannelle asked if Beth wanted to stay with her for a bit, Beth only hesitated for a decent period before agreeing.

After a month of esteem-building by Shannelle, Beth was much stronger. Beth had learned to admire Shannelle, both because she was a good friend and because she had embraced her size and sexuality. To Shannelle, her size was an asset.

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Or did. Because he replied, “Look, I am not worried about office gossips. And if we were discrete, I think I could help your career.” He reached across and touched my hand. I know it was supposed to be a reassuring touch, but at the time I was thinking of the chapter in the book that advised ‘if you were going to date someone in your office, make sure you make it worthwhile’. He continued, “What are you looking for… maybe it is me.”

“I doubt it,” I answered. Here’s where I needed to stretch the truth. “I have a man in my life who is willing to let me call the shots… sexually. He is happy–prefers even–to let me be in charge. And I am having fun with him.”

Curtis got a strange look on his face. “Oh God, Nancy….” he looked pained, as if tormented internally. “Can I tell you something and it goes no further?”

“Sure,” I said, curious.

“I need to be so driven during the day, to make my goals and so on. I am so tired by the end of the day, that I don’t want to think at all. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I answered.

“So I have been wanting a woman… one who is strong, and self-confident… and can ….” His face was red, and he looked stricken. He was so different from the man who I watched with some awe at meetings. There he was powerful, decisive, self-assured. This Curtis looked rather puny, so much so that he seemed incapable of finishing his statement.

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“You want a woman who will not force you to be strong,” I said, trying to be helpful. “A woman who will…dominate you.” I heard my own voice, surprised that it was so soft, compassionate, understanding. His sudden display of weakness and need touched me.

His head dropped, as if the revelation had sapped his entire strength. “Yes,” he said. I didn’t say anything, my heart beating hard in my chest and my brain racing. He looked up suddenly, his eyes blazing. “I know you won’t share this with anyone,” he said defiantly.

I smiled at him. “I won’t,” I promised. But I would definitely try to use the information.

“So…” he said, his body language softening. “So, you see, I am not that different from your other guy. And, even though it could be awkward to date someone from the office, I am very interested in you. I don’t know how I overlooked you all this time.”

I knew precisely how he had overlooked me. It was because in my pre-makeover days I was bland and insecure, hiding myself. Now, confident that I looked great, I didn’t mind the attention. Actually I enjoyed it.

“Look,” I said. “I appreciate your interest, and I am flattered.

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“Oh yeah? Well, I’m not most men.” His smile was really cheesy now. I decided then and there that he wasn’t going to be anything but a fuck to me. “What’s your requirement?”

“OK, sport,” I said, practically dismissing him. I tucked one side of my hair behind an ear, watching his eyes flicker. He was getting aroused… he did have a fetish. I licked my lips, and his eyes flickered again. “Here’s the deal. I only fuck men who are willing to clean the mess up with their tongues afterwards.” His face went white, drained of all blood (which I suspect went to his dick). “You man enough to do that?”

“Jesus!” he hissed. “Are you serious?”

I didn’t bother responding. I reached into my purse and pulled out a business card. “Call me if you are interested,” I said. Then I walked to my car, leaving him there with a woody.

The next day, there was voicemail from him when I got to the office. I’d decided to let him stew a day. When I got back to my office from a meeting at noon, I had another message from him, and one from Curtis, inviting me to lunch. I deleted both messages.

The next morning I had another message from Max, asking me to lunch. I called him and agreed to meet him. I spent lunch flirting with him, making him crazy. I had everything he wanted, and I knew it. The Look, openness to cum-cleaning. He wanted me, bad. I agreed to go out with him the next night.

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When I got back, I had another message from Curtis, asking for a lunch. I called him and told him I could, the day after tomorrow.

The next night I didn’t bother flirting with Max. We just had a nice night, and I let him kiss me, and no more. It was interesting to feel him tremble as he stroked my head and my neck. He was obviously excited, and I could get used to having such a powerful sexual reaction from a man.

At lunch the next day, Curtis asked me why I wasn’t interested in seeing him. I decided I had nothing lose in being blunt… and stretching the truth a little. The books I had read advised doing just that.

“Curtis, you are a great guy. But a) it would be awkward to date someone in the office, and b) I am looking for something special in a man.” I expected the ‘date someone in the office’ thing would scare him off. It always does.

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I glanced up, locked eyes, then lowered them and smiled. I had worked on that flirty move, practicing on salesguys every chance I got. I knew it would be like a lure to Max, and sure enough, he rose and walked out of the office towards me, straightening his tie.

“Can I help you, miss?” he said, smiling at me. He had very cute dimples and pale green eyes. With his dark hair combed back, he looked very yummy.

“I don’t know…” I said, opening the door for whatever he wanted to pitch. I was putting my recent flirting practice to use.

Max looked at the salesguys, hovering like vultures. “How about I show you something on the lot?” I agreed, and he led me outdoors. “Do you know what you are looking for?” he asked.

I leaned against the hood of a sports car. “I know exactly what I am looking for,” I said. “I just can’t find it.” I gave him a great smile, hoping he realized I was using a double entendre.

“Well, can you describe what you want? Maybe I have something on the lot?”

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I swallowed, knowing what I wanted to say. I wanted to be a sexual vixen, saying just what I wanted and getting it. But I had never played that part and I was nervous about saying it. Being self-assured is a lot hard than wanting to be self assured. This was especially true with Max, given that he was the sexiest man I’d ever had pay me any attention.

“Hmmmmm, what I want…” I laughed, deciding to make it sound like a joke in case he took it badly. “I want a man who knows how to make me cum. Who can fuck me for an hour and make me squeal like a little girl.” Max’s eyes went wide as saucers, and his jaw went slack. Then he got a very suave, well practiced grin.

“Sounds like you want me,” he said.

“Yeah, I bet,” I said, showing a little haughty disdain. ‘Haughty Disdain’ occupied an entire chapter in How Bad Girls Get What They Want; Using Your Naughty Nature.

“Why don’t you try me and see,” he said. He had a cute smile, but it appeared too well practiced to me. Did girls really buy this shit?

“I might, but I do have one little requirement than most men aren’t willing to go for.” It was time to drop the bomb on him.

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“There’s a lot of that going around,” she replied. I was getting a foil highlight, and she was painting on a lighter red.

“How so?” I asked.

“Well, I don’t know if you remember that girl who was in right before you were the last time you were here?”

“Was her name Lisa?” I asked.

“Yes, that’s her,” Shanna confirmed. “Well, she and her boyfriend broke up this week.” Really? Oh boy!

“Really?” I asked, trying to sound sad for her.

“Yeah, turns out that he just liked her ‘look’, like a fetish or something,” Shanna explained. “She wanted a perm and he made a big hairy deal out of it, and she said ‘fuck you’ and dumped him.” She went on to tell me how studly he was; how he was the best fuck Lisa had ever had and that he was wild… loved just about anything.”

“So what was this great look he liked so much?” I laughed, sounding amused. I hope I knew.

“Well, it was pretty much like yours,” Shanna replied. “You ought to go after him. Lisa said he was really a great lover.” Then she got a conspiratorial tone. “He did some really far out stuff… shit you wouldn’t believe.”

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“Like?” I prompted.

“Like… oh hell,” she said, apparently giving up on tip-toeing around the topic. “Like orgasming INSIDE her and then sucking it out afterwards.”

“I don’t know… sounds like fun to me,” I smiled. It did, still.

“Then you should go after him.” The rest of the time was spent telling me where he worked (as a manager at a car dealership) and plotting how to ensnare him. It was so much fun, like being back in junior high. She convinced me to go over to the dealership right away, because she thought he worked the later shift. As an incentive, she made sure I looked as stunning as I could.

So, with fresh hair and makeup, I went to the Lexus dealership where she thought he worked. I walked around the showroom, looking at the cars and brushing off the salesdudes until I saw Max in a glassed in office. I loitered, pretending to look at a car until I saw him look up. His eyes popped when he saw me. I could never get enough of that!

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“Oh, honey!” he said, unhappily. I was a victim again of his premature ejaculation and we both knew it. His cock was shrinking, almost gone. He knelt, thinking of how to placate me.

“Honey, let’s not fight,” he said finally. “I was hoping that tonight we would agree to stop seeing other people.” That was the wrong thing to say.

“Get your clothes on, and get out,” I said, furious. My face turned red, I was so angry. He gave me that ‘what?’ look. I didn’t feel like I owed him an explanation. But when he was dressed, he still looked puzzled. “Steve,” I said, my voice dangerously low, “before we ever had sex we agreed to be monogamous. That means we don’t see other people. Apparently, you did not understand that.” Realization dawned in his eyes, and he didn’t even put up a fuss when he left.

I held off my tears until he was gone, and then I ran to my bed and cried myself to sleep.

The next day, despite my best efforts, I went to work looking like I had cried all night. As a sort of revenge, I wore my new garter hose, but with an even shorter skirt and higher heels. I felt OK until I got to my office and a thought struck me. I dialed a number and my voice quavered as I asked my nurse to arrange an AIDS test. The thought that I had been exposed to HIV because Steve was fooling around made it sink in; he was despicable.

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I began to cry again, holding my face in my hands. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked up to see a blurred Lee Anne. She had closed my door, and she knelt to comfort me. I needed it right then. I explained that Steve and I broke up, and she gave me a nice hug. Then, she spent the whole day protecting me from the guys in the office. It seemed incredible how fast the news that I was “available” spread.

The only one she let through was Curtis. I guess she was matchmaking, but I found myself with a date for the weekend. And, as it turned out, for the next two weeks solid.

Curtis and I hit it off. He confessed that he found my self-confidence sexy, and I actually did feel more self-confident with him. So much so, that after those two weeks I decided to start seeing other guys. This whole relationship was a paradox, but as a result, Curtis became even more attentive.

At three weeks after my makeover, I went back to the salon. I found the very crisp ends of freshly cut hair was sexy, and I didn’t want my high-style sleek look to get unruly. Shanna was happy to see me, and we talked a lot. I mentioned that I had broken up with my boyfriend.

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I suddenly heard him gasp and swell in my mouth. He was cumming, the bastard! I wrapped my lips around his head, breathing through my nose. I stroked his cock with my fist, urging his orgasm to continue as his semen splashed into my mouth. His moans were incredibly sexy, praising me for my cocksucking but I was furious. Bastard!

He was still gasping when I took my mouthful of his cum and moved up to his face. I pressed my fingers into his jaw hinges, forcing his mouth to remain open as I kissed him with an open mouth. He gagged as he realized I was shoving his semen into his mouth, but I didn’t stop. I french kissed him, thrilling that our tongues were sharing his load.

It was highly diluted by saliva when I broke the kiss, even more aroused but still angry. His eyes were mad too, having been forced to eat the cum he hadn’t wanted to. I didn’t have time for that emotion. “Lay on your back on the floor,” I barked. Surprised, he did as he was told without even questioning my reason. I mounted his face, pushing my sodden pussy into his mouth.

“Eat me, lick it,” I moaned, and did just that. His tongue was swirling inside and out of me, but missing my clit completely. I remedied that with my fingers, thrilling to his eager pussyeating. He loved eating my pussy. Loved it. I needed him hard so that he could fuck me and eat more cum. The thoughts welled in me, filled my mind with visions of his tongue doing just what he was eagerly doing now, only with my pussy seeping cum…..

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I came, gasping for breath as I ground hard on his mouth. My pussy seemed to have covered his whole mouth, because he was gasping for air. The suction and action made my orgasm go on, until I couldn’t stand it anymore. I rolled off, leaning against the couch as I felt my body shake. It took a few minutes for the orgasm to pass completely. It was terrific!

“Oh god,” I purred. He was leaning on his side, looking at me with a smile. He liked making me orgasm. I didn’t have the heart to tell him my fingers and fantasy made me cum, and he only would get an assist. I saw that he was almost totally erect now. Mmmm!

“Oh, Nancy, I need to fuck you… can I?” he said, his hand dropping to his cock, which he stroked.

“Yeah, fuck me,” I agreed, sitting on the couch, lifting my ankles, and spreading my legs. “Fuck me and eat your cum out.” His reaction surprised me. His cock shrank!

“Oh no, not that!” His eyes were pleading. “Can’t you be happy with what you did?”

I was mad. “What I did? YOU came too early in my mouth!” I lowered my legs, knowing he wasn’t soon going to be between them.

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His face showed shocked realization. “You are serious?” I nodded. “You want me to eat my own cum right out of you?” His face now showed severe distaste. I saw that his cock was wilting too. Hmmmm.

“No way,” he said. “Nuh huh.”

I gave a little sigh. “Your choice,” I said. I went to the door. “I thought you liked the new Me, but I guess not.” I opened the door, at the same time tucking my hair behind my ear. I knew just how cute I looked like that, my eyes huge and innocent.

“Wait a minute,” he said ingratiatingly. “Close the door. Don’t be hasty.” I did close the door, and stood with my arms crossed in defiance. “Listen, honey, you don’t want me to leave, right?”

I softened a little. “No, I don’t,” I said. “But I am tired of having you use me and then fall asleep. So you ARE going to do this, because I deserve it and I want it.” I didn’t add ‘or else’, because my tone clearly implied that.

“C’mon, be reasonable! Only fags eat sperm,” he said. He was now completely limp. Pathetic.

“You be reasonable,” I countered. “You will have just fucked me… what sort of self-respecting ‘fag’ would do that?” I opened the door again. “Are you going to do this or are you going to leave?”

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“I… I will,” he said, sounding like a loser. “But I need help getting up again.” He pointed to his withered prick, as tiny as I had ever seen.

Despite the animosity of the conversation, I had never felt so turned on in my life. It was very arousing to be in command of my sexuality. The truth is that I wanted to suck his cock right then. Its a sexy feeling to know you have the power to arouse a man with just your mouth.

“Sit,” I said, pointing to the couch. He sat, and I did a brief little sexy dance for him. Then, I knelt and put his cock in my mouth. I suckled at him, remembering all the things I had read last night in How Bad Girls Get What They Want; Using Your Naughty Nature about how men would give so much just to get head. I was excited to think I was preparing him to fuck me, and the fact that he would be eating his cum reluctantly added to the excitement.

Slowly Steve’s cock grew in my mouth. I started making loud smacking noises as I sucked him, and he began to quickly inflate, muttering about how sexy I was now. His fingers slid down to my neck, rubbing me in a way that made me moan. “Bob on me, bob…” he moaned, “oh god, your hair is swinging… so sexy….” His hand pushed my head up and down, caressing but urging me too. It felt so good… so erotic.

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When the table was clear but for his glass, I climbed ONTO it, sitting on my bottom facing him. I scootched my bottom forward, getting into the center so that I could lean back onto an elbow. Then, I put my high-heeled feet on the edge of the table, spreading my knees far apart. I touched myself, pulling back my clit hood as he stared in disbelief, then spread my lips apart so that he could see my oozing bright pink hole. Then I moved my hand away, stroking my pubic bone idly. His face was a picture of lust as he looked at my completely bald pussy.

“Is this what you want to put your tongue on?” I asked.

“Mmmm yeah,” he panted. “I want to FUCK you so much Nancy. I am SOOOO turned on!”

“Mmmmm, that would be nice… I’ve been thinking of that too.” It was time to introduce my new desire to him. “But I was thinking of your mouth too…” I touched myself again, this time dipping a finger into my well of juices, then putting my finger into my mouth to suck it off.

“Oh yeah, baby,” he smiled. He stood, and began to unfasten his belt. “I’m gonna eat you like crazy and then I’m gonna fuck you like crazy!”

I smiled seductively. “Actually, your are going to fuck me like crazy, and THEN you are going to eat me like crazy.” I tasted myself again as he tried to understand what I had just said.

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“What do you mean?” he asked finally.

“I mean that you are going to stick your dick in me, and after you cum you are going to eat your cum from me.” I felt myself gush as I said those words for the first time. I was very exciting to give voice to my new fantasy.

“Yeah, right,” he laughed. He had been disrobing, and now dropped his undies. I saw his medium-sized prick was hard as a rock and dripping precum.

I took his wine glass, and dipped a finger in to capture some wine. I inserted the same finger into my pussy, feeling how hot I was inside. Then I pulled the finger out and held it out for him so taste. “MMmmmmm,” he moaned. I pulled my finger to my pussy, his mouth still attached. I felt a jolt of pleasure as his tongue found its way between the folds of my lips, lapping at my pussy hole.

“I’m serious,” I said, pushing his face away. “You are gonna eat my pussy when it is full of cum, or you aren’t going to have any fun tonight.”

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“Wow, you look great,” he marveled as we tasted the dish. I smiled at him, and slowly sucked in a noodle, being just as lewd as I could possibly be. “Jesus!” he blasphemed, his face showing his desire. I strung out dinner, slowly eating and noting that he drank three glasses of wine.

When he slurred his first words, I “accidentally” dropped my knife on the floor next to him. I stood, and bent over at the waist, my butt towards him. Predictably, he looked, then blasphemed again. “Are you shaved?!” he yelped.

“MMmm, yes,” I said, looking through my legs at him. “Is that OK?” As if in punctuation, I reached back and separated my lips to show him my glistening hole, eliciting another blasphemous remark. “I like how smooth and slippery I feel now,” I explained. When he reached out his hand to touch me, I stepped out of range, and retook my seat.

“You are FUCKING sexy!” he exclaimed. His face was getting a little red, and his eyes weren’t exactly tracking. Even so, he was refilling his glass. He was going from man to prey.

“Oh yeah?” I said, caressing my neck, and trailing my fingers down my front. “What do you like best?”

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“Oh, shit, everything. Your face, your hair, your shaved pussy… it makes me want to put my tongue RIGHT THERE.”

“Right here?” I smiled, running my hands inside my babydoll and over my breasts. I licked my lips as I pinched my nipples.

“Fuck!” he said, shifting uncomfortably. I had never purposely teased him before, always acceding to his desires readily.

“Here?” I said, dropping my hand to my belly… so close. He picked up his fourth glass, staring and drinking it down.

“Here, ohgodyeah,” I purred, dropping my hand under the table where he couldn’t see. I touched my pussy, feeling the heat before I made contact. I knew it was a good thing my chairs were wooden and unupholstered, because my pussy was literally dripping wet. I was so excited to tease him and to see him desiring me so much. I brought my hand to my lips, and tasted myself. His eyes were large, taking it all in.

I stood then, and cleared the table. He sat there, watching me walk. I don’t know if he could see the rivulets of juice dripping down my inner thighs, but I could feel them as I walked. I was thrilled to be having this reaction from him, and was looking forward to making my demands.

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Almost as a defense, his right hand dropped to my hip, and then slid knowingly across towards my crotch. I broke the kiss then, saying, “let’s eat first.” I turned away, leaving him even more stunned.

I suppose that until now I had seemed grateful for sex, because I had been. Steve was really the first guy to take a serious interest in me sexually, and I welcomed him at every occasion. I had only said “no” once, when I had had the flu. If we didn’t have sex it was because Steve didn’t feel like it for whatever reason. I guess he was a bit confused, since I was dressed to invite sex, I was looking hot, and yet I said no.

He came into the kitchen, preparing to help make dinner. The water was already hot, so I just turned up the heat to make it boil, and put the sauce in the microwave. Feeling useless, he turned to pouring himself a glass of wine and refilling mine. This was going to be my last glass I decided.

“Damn, you look great,” he said as we waited for the noodles to cook.

“Thanks… like my new haircut?” I asked.

“Hell yeah!” he enthused. “You look so sexy… like a model even.”

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I smiled, leading him further, “like a model?” I closed the gap, letting him put his arms around me.

“Mmmm, yeah,” was his considered response. I let him kiss me, but I again was the one who deepened the kiss. This time, he ran his hand up my back to my neck. He tentatively touched my bristly nape, his fingers tickling me as he explored. Damn it felt good! “Love your hair,” he muttered, his hand moving up to touch beneath the curled under part, exploring the junction of long hair and short. Wow… I felt my nipples harden as my arousal level increased.

I heard the pop-hiss of the spaghetti water overflowing onto the burner, and pulled away, my eyes almost glazed with need and pleasure. As I dished out the noodles, he came behind me and nestled his bulge into my crack. I felt him, so hard, and wanted to be fucked badly. I guess that was the point of him rubbing me there. Even though I wanted him in me, mounting me, fucking me, I needed him to agree to my new desires. It was about more than sex tonight.

I purposely ignored his efforts, and picked up the plates of spaghetti. “Let’s have dinner,” I said. He brought along the bottle and our glasses, draining his before sitting down. Mine was still full, but he refilled his.

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